My dad was diagnosed with stage three lung cancer. He is refusing chemo, and was given 12-18 weeks to live.
This is the most difficult thing I have ever had to deal with. He lives in Arizona (me and my brother are in MN). He came up for 10 days to say goodbye to his brother and his childhood friend (who ended up being my uncle through marriage on my mothers side), and us kids of course.
I am grateful I was able to see him again, I know a lot of people weren't able to have that luxury. But saying goodbye to him at the airport knowing that was quite possibly the last time I would ever see him is making me want to crawl in a whole. I don't know how to express what I am feeling. Amanda (the Mrs.) has been great, but I feel like I can't unload on her. I feel like I have to keep this to myself and deal with it internally.
I love my father, I will always love and respect him. He really is a great fucking man. I hope I'll be able to see him again.
6 comments:
Oh, John. I am so sorry for what you are going through. I don't have any words of wisdom. Death and dying and saying goodbye are difficult. Please find a way to express what you are feeling. Don't keep it all inside. Lean on the Mrs. if you have to. That's what a partner is for. You might contact a local hospital and see if they have a grief support group. I'm hoping that your dad proves the doctors wrong.
Hang in there, Jon. I've lost many family members to cancer...I just always think that it is better that they are no longer suffering. My prayers go out to you.
I remember feeling similar when my grandmother was dying and I especially didn't want to unload on Rachel but the thing is, that special person in your life is there for a reason. They want to be there for you, they want to support you in the things you do, hold you up when you succeed and pick up when you fall. What I'm saying is, turn to Amanda, share your feelings because it very well could bring you too that much closer.
:(
I'm so sorry.
I'm so sorry Jon. I can't even imagine. I do hope you find someone to lean on during such an impossibly hard time--it's ok to need (and ask for) support!
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